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WE GET LETTERS

When you read the following letter, you'll see why I encourage readers to contact us. We have so much to learn from each other. The writer's privacy is respected by changing the names. After all, the names are not important; it's the contents that counts.

The following letter is one I received after a lecture I gave several years ago, titled The Stress of High Expectations. I kept this particular letter for my own reference; it keeps things in perspective for me. It reads:

Dear Ina:

I recently saw a segment on 60 minutes where they featured Denmark as having the world's happiest and most content population. The Danes interviewed, claimed it was because "We are happy for what we have, and no unhappy about what we don't have." It reminded me of something you told me a while back, about living up to my own expectations and not worry about what other people expected of me or wanted from me.

As I told you then, I have always been in awe of people who seemed to know just what they were best at and pursued it faithfully, like the writer, the artist, the athlete, the politician. I have never had any passion like that and it made me feel so ordinary. All I had was average intelligence, normal talent level, basic life survival skills. There was nothing special about me.

That night, after your program, I was lying in bed thinking about it. Then, it was as if a curtain was lifted from my thoughts, because suddenly I knew what my purpose was.

My purpose is not to be the best musician in the world, nor am I to be a famous feminist, or a captain of industry. I am simply here to make my little corner of the world a better place. I am here to ease a little pain wherever I can. UI am here to send goofy cards to people who seem lonely; or to take my friend's children roller skating while their mom goes to the doctor. I am here to drive my elderly neighbor to the Bingo  she enjoys so much. To put it briefly: I am here to bake birthday cakes.

It's the most delightful purpose there is, for I can never run out of ideas and the rewards are unbelievable. Of course, at times, the job can be a little tedious, but somehow I never lose the will to keep going. I now know the true meaning of the phrase: Labor of Love. Love is something that may weaken, but it will never break.

In that respect, you might say that I have become like the Danes. I'm happy for what I can do, and not unhappy about what I can't. It's as if making peace with my own abilities has taken the stress out of my life. I sleep better and feel content. In other words, I no longer feel distressed.

D.McN      

This is the essence of the letter and I thought it was worth sharing. Stress is often caused by trying to live up to what we think other people are expecting of us. This is not to say that we shouldn't fulfill promises we have made. Rather, it means that most people don't that much about what we do or don't do.

To quote Dr. Phil: "It you know how seldom other people think about you, you wouldn't worry so much about it."

 

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